Cheeky Sun-Times Editorial

On the smelly toad:

That’s not going to win Keyes a lot of friends around here, even if it is a genuine attempt to clear the air. Outsiders need to understand that only Chicagoans can make derogatory remarks about the mayor. We know he’s not perfect. But when we look around the country we don’t see any outsider doing any better. Even the prestigious, but far away, British magazine the Economist recently called Daley America’s best mayor.

The Republicans seem to think we need some kind of outside trusteeship here. Sen. Peter Fitzgerald couldn’t find a lawyer he considered competent (or honest?) enough in our whole state to make U.S. attorney.

If they keep this up, it’s going to hurt our self-esteem.

You could get a complex.

Raising the question, is Alan Keyes suggesting the Mayor is a smelly toad?

Roeser Swallowing Hard

From the Sun-Times a hysterical account of Keyes and Jack Roeser ‘discussing’ reparations:

On Wednesday, Keyes ridiculed the fuss over his position, saying it is simply a tax break, something “Republicans and my conservative brethren” don’t object to when applied to a “wealthy corporation.”

Conservative activist Jack Roeser met with Keyes for what Roeser called “a long argument and an intense one” over the issue before the speech. A Barrington businessman, Roeser said he still is not sold on Keyes’ reparations proposal, but still plans to support him anyway. “I will tell my friends that this is a good man, and we should support him.”

The General Is Unhappy

With Rauschenberger and Syverson

Good God, what where you thinking when you dialed his number!

We need to convince him to pull out of the race. He’s obviously not going to do it on his own, so we’re going to need to create a scandal. It has to be big and that means sex–the media eats that stuff up.

No time for private investigators. You have to do it yourselves–you broke it; you fix it. I’m thinking of a three way at a Cubs game. As for staging, the photos would look best with Sen. Syverson taking him from behind and Sen. Rauschenberger going down on him, but I guess that part is really up to you.

Once he’s out of the race, we convince Ted Nugent to run.

We’re depending on you to turn this thing around. Don’t disappoint us.

go read the whole thing….and the comments…

Who Doesn’t Like a Good Trainwreck?

From Berkowitz

If Keyes is to have a chance of winning, or even climbing into the 40 % vote range, [A much more mainstream, but less dynamic and very underfunded Republican Senate Candidate Jim Durkin, got 38% of the vote in 2002 against senior U. S. Senator Dick Durbin], he will need to do many more such speeches and engage in many more such conversations that adopt today?s style. Some of Keyes financial supporters, such as conservative Family Tax Network leader Jack Roeser, have been trying to persuade Senate Candidate Alan Keyes to focus a bit more on selling, and perhaps even a bit of a softer-sell. We?ll see if Ambassador Keyes wants to do that and if he can adopt a more diplomatic style.

Now connect this to the next bit:

Keyes, with only six days notice to City Club members and others, came pretty close to matching Senator Durbin, closing with 60 voicemail reservations last night and this morning. As Keyes? mentor and former boss, President Reagan, said in a different context, ?Not bad, not bad, not bad at all.?

Who wouldn’t want to see him go crazy live? With, you know, lots of folks to pull him off of you if he goes totally nuts.

As for conservatives like Roeser trying to tone down his routine–why would he start now? I mean, do you remember the Keyes eruptions in 2000 and 1996? You wanted him, you got him. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Chillinois Says: Most Ironic Keyes Quote Ever

I say until tomorrow.

“I think it’s wise to know when to shut up.” – Alan Keyes during a media interview in a downtown Wheaton Metra station.

This was in reference to the following:

During Keyes’ remarks, one of the sign-waving supporters called Barack Obama, the Democratic candidate for the Senate seat, a “puppet” of Chicago Mayor Richard J. Daley.

Given his eruptions on O’Hare, I think we can safely say that he’ll be saying something about Daley pretty soon. The challenge will be to get either to actually answer a question instead of going off on a non-sequitur.

From my inbox:

August 15th.

BLITZER: If you lose, will you come back to Maryland, or stay in Illinois?

KEYES: Well, I think we’re going to be forming ties here. And the ties that are forged in the heat of an important battle of community deeply confirm the community of heart and principle that’s involved–and I’m sure our hearts will follow those principles which are working with the people in this state in order to achieve the outcome

“…thus Alan Keyes joins the Richard M. Daley school of non-sequitur responses. ”

Perhaps Alan can discuss taking his pants off for us. I mean, forget the debates between Obama and Keyes, I want to see debates between Daley and Keyes. No one will know what the hell either of them is talkinb about.

The Weakly Joyce

Joyce takes on Preble?s meadow jumping mouse this week calling its protection situational ethics and then proceeding to just lie about the whole damn process.

But new research suggests the allegedly endangered Preble?s mouse never existed. According to Jay Lehr, Ph.D., in Heartland Institute?s publication Environment News, this mouse seems to be genetically identical to a common cousin.

The endangered species listing on the Preble?s Meadow Jumping Mouse was based on a 1954 study of a university professor who reached his conclusion based on the examination of three skulls and 11 skins, according to Lehr.

Bullshit. Look at the Federal Register’s final notice for the rules and the appropriate citations.

More troubling is that Joyce and Fehr would seem to not understand that biodiversity includes subspecies. You’d think that a fine publication like the Leader might actually have an environmental columnist who knew just a tad about biology. Or not.

In a rather strange bit even for Joyce:

Do you suppose wetlands promoters told Illinois legislators that Illinois received nearly $20.2 million in federal funding from the U.S. Department of Agriculture earmarked for the Wetlands Reserve Program for fiscal year 2004? Or did they apply a little “situational ethics” here?

Why would state legislators not know about money coming in from the federal government?

More troubling is Joyce is rather clueless about the state of wetlands protection given recent court cases:

On January 9, 2001 the US Supreme Court dealt a heavy blow to wetlands in Illinois, and the nation, with its decision in Solid Waste Agency of Northern Cook County v. U.S. Army Corps of Engineers (SWANCC). The Court ruled that the Army Corps had improperly denied a proposal to destroy ponds that provide habitat for migrating birds in order to build a landfill.

The Court held that state and local governments, not the federal government, have the authority to regulate these “isolated” wetlands. Because Illinois has no state-level program in place for these critical areas, they are suddenly without any protection

Ignorance is curable. Situational ethics would appear to apply to an ignorant fool who feels no need to understand what the hell she is talking about.