Feel Like a Traffic Cop
ArchPundit
Describing in Detail the trainwreck known as the Keyes Candidacy. Josh Marshall is more like a lawyer arguing the case with a little more distance
Moore’s Story on Keyes and the Mosh Pit
Via Zorn,
The story was so old to me I didn’t even think to link to it. It’s a hoot and a perfect fit for the other side of Jake Weisberg’s coverage of the 2000 Presidential Debates
I hauled this mosh pit around Iowa in a large flatbed truck, crisscrossing the state and inviting the Presidential candidates to join the teeming and tattooed masses. The response from the candidates varied from a stunned and frightened Steve Forbes (who quickly walked by the pit giving it a nervous thumb up), to front-runner George W. Bush (who told me, “behave yourself, Michael I see you’re up to your old tricks why don’t you go get a real job?”)
Gary Bauer, on the other hand, called the Des Moines police who sent five cruisers and a paddy wagon to arrest the pit. The police, though, could not contain their laughter when they arrived and saw the group of purple-haired, pierce-lipped, 18-year olds jumping wildly in place to the music of Rage Against the Machine.
Next, we drove over to a town hall event being staged by former Reagan ambassador, Alan Keyes. As the mosh pit rolled into the parking lot, with Rage music blaring (“It has to start somewhere/ It has to start sometime/ What better place than here/ What better time than now…”), Keyes staffers came outside to see what all the noise was about. When informed that Keyes could get the endorsement of “The Awful Truth,” Keyes’ national field director dove into the pit, hoping that would suffice for our support. He then brought out “Uncle Sam,” a Keyes supporter who was dressed in full Uncle Sam regalia. He, too, jumped in.
But we told the Keyes staff that it had to be Keyes himself. Minutes later, Alan Keyes emerged and, against the loud protests of his Secret Service agent, Keyes climbed to the top of the makeshift stage on the back of the truck and dove backwards into the screaming mosh pit. He then body-surfed the entire pit, carried like a wave on the outstretched hands of the tightly compact crowd. He did a couple of body slams with a spiked-hair youth from Ames High School and left the pit with the official endorsement of the show.
“We knew Alan Keyes was insane,” I told the press who were trying to understand the irony or the point. “We just didn’t know HOW insane he was until that moment. We now feel a responsibility to test the remaining field of candidates.”
Bauer called the cops?
We’ll let that lie
Perhaps the most hypocritical response from social conservatives is that somehow they are being sold out by moderates who refuse to support Keyes. Proft tries to be cute and say he’ll let Thompson’s non-endorsement lie. Yeah, sort of like Keyes refusal to endorse or campaign for any pro-choice Republicans? Given Alan Keyes thinks that Thompson or Edgar have no role in the Republican Party, why should they think Keyes should?
And let me suggest that if Proft’s publication seeks to damage anyone’s reputation who is not a sitting office holder in order to discredit their response to Keyes, you and your hare brained friends at the Leader will be banished from Illinois politics. And any candidate you have ties to will face an incredibly difficult and harsh campaign for Governor next go around.
Will Keyes Pin Down Obama
My only fear is that Keyes might literally pin down Obama as he tried to pin down Lamar Alexander. Keyes right now is getting a lot of attention and for all the efforts to paint him as a legitimate candidate, his schtick will wear thin with the press within a few weeks and he’ll be ignored. He’ll claim that is racism, but the reality is that the press only finds loons funny for a while and then they turn on them.
Rich Miller argues the National Republicans are going to be giving him cash to keep Obama pinned down. The problem with that? What if Keyes spends money near swing states—including Missouri with Metro East, Quincy, the Quad Cities and Wisconsin with the QC, Rockford and Chicago. All of a sudden a stark raving loon is on TV blasting away at everything and saying he is a proud Republican. Great swing state strategery there.
This isn’t a criticism of Rich–he probably has it right, but the national Republican have to be thinking about how that hits the larger audience.
Word from on-high is that the national Senate Republicans are planning to contribute lots of money to Republican US Senate candidate Alan Keyes.
It’s not that the national poobahs actually believe Keyes can win, mind you. You’ll be hard-pressed to find a sane person to predict that. Then again, what sane person could have predicted a month ago that Alan Keyes would be one of our US Senate candidates?
The national GOP’s main object is to keep Barack Obama pinned down in Illinois. And, with a little bit of money, Keyes will most likely complete that task .
There are a lot of theories floating around about why the Illinois Republicans chose Keyes. I’m not sure if any of them are completely true. And I’m pretty sure that some of them, whether true or not, are downright cock-eyed, particularly the whole notion that Keyes will help the Republicans take back the state Senate.
In terms of chaining himself to a building–if only Obama could get so lucky. The crazier Keyes acts, the more it builds up Obama’s dignified presence.
Subservient President
Try these:
salute reagan
stop the war
wrap yourself in the flag
have a drink
vietnam (the response to this is incredibly funny)
what do you think of john kerry?
what do you think of the geneva conventions?
dance (ask him to dance again after that)
what about enron?
what do you think of halliburton?
do you like michael moore? (typing the word “france” gets the same result)
supreme court
constitution
cut taxes
what will you do about north korea (also iran)
what will you do about global warming?
nixon
rumsfeld
terrorists
constitution
what do you think of the subservient chicken?
Giblets and Alan
And a can of V8. Well worth the read. I dare you not to laugh.
Daily Herald Points out Keyes’ Odd View of the 17 Amendment
That he wants to repeal it and have the State Lege pick the Senator. Yeah, what a great idea in Illinois. Pate Philip for US Senator! Yeah
Of course, ArchPundit readers (and NRO readers) knew this already
Of course, this isn’t nearly as wacky as his view of the 14th amendment which is well to the right of even Clarence Thomas and Antonin Scalia.
“He does still support repeal of the 17th Amendment,” Keyes campaign adviser Dan Proft said Thursday.
Fred Phelps to Bloomington
Fred Phelps of GodHatesFags.com Infamy, is visiting Bloomington and Peoria:
Westboro Baptist Church spokeswoman Shirley Phelps-Roper said her group will send 10 to 15 people, including children, to Bloomington and Peoria Electrolux sites Aug. 23 because the company is based in Sweden.
Unrelated to company activity, the government in Sweden jailed a preacher for making anti-gay statements, she said. Phelps-Roper described the protest as informational, not seeking a boycott or any other action against Electrolux.
The civil rights group Southern Poverty Law Center describes church leader Fred Phelps as “America’s most rabid and vicious hater of homosexuals.” Westboro and the center spar over the center’s designation of it as a “hate group.”
Tentative plans are for Aug. 22 pickets outside St. John’s Lutheran, Holy Trinity Catholic, St. Matthew’s Episcopal, Wesley United Methodist, Second Presbyterian and Vale Community churches.
Second Press was my family’s church growing up and is about the best example of a uptight mainstream church one could hope to find. Seeing Phelps outside would be a hoot.
Phelps and gang visited my current church (also Second Press–different place, different outlook) a couple years ago and the overwhelming reaction was pity.
Warning, the flyer is offensive
I assume this is on the way out to the sodomite whorehouse also known as the Republican National Convention (his line, not mine)
One MEEELLLION Dollars
From Renew America
Illinois–and indeed all of America–needs Alan Keyes in the Senate, at this critical time in our nation’s history! For that to happen, the Keyes for Senate campaign immediately needs a million dollars from the grassroots.