The Illinois Legislative Session of 2007: A Fable.

VIa Rich

Dan Hynes sums it all up

The Illinois Legislative Session of 2007: A Fable.

“Once upon a time, in a Land of Lincoln, a Governor presented a budget in a lovely town called Springfield. This Governor was great and generous and had a tremendous head of hair. And the wise and diligent people who needed to approve the budget, the members of the General Assembly, invited the Governor to their home to talk about one part of his plan. He did. And when he left their house, the members did what any courteous hosts would do: they voted 107-0 against him. And told him he was always welcome to stop by.

Though the Governor declared this a great victory, the streets of Springfield were strangely free of dancing or parades or general merriment.

Instead, a great black cloud covered the Land.

And the members of the General Assembly knew, to save the day, they’d have to agree on some kind of plan. So their leaders set down to work, day and night, and agreed on nothing of consequence.

And the cloud remained.

Now danger was approaching, and everyone said that they needed more time — so that they could call each other the worst names they could think of. Nasty, terrible names. Like when someone called the Governor a demagogue. And when the Governor called the Speaker of the House —a Republican.

And then things got even worse. The Governor said that God was on his side, and then unleashed God’s fury against a Senator from Moline. And the men who led the General Assembly insisted that they were absolutely, positively right, and whenever discussing the Governor, took God’s name in vain.

God was generally not pleased.

And the cloud remained.

But just when things looked their worst — just in the nick of time — knowing all that was at stake for the people they served, the good and decent leaders came together – in courtrooms all across Illinois. You see, the Governor had said that the members should meet at 2 o’clock. But the members decided to get together at 10 o’clock. That could mean only one thing, in the name of truth and justice, and everything good in the world: sue the bums!.

So in the happiest of happy endings, the Governor sued the Speaker of the House. And just to make sure that the Speaker’s clerk didn’t feel lonely, he sued him, too. And for a moment, the Governor thought about suing a maid at the Statehouse Inn because she had once said hello to the Speaker. But, in the rush to get back for a Cubs playoff game, he forgot all about that.

And the cloud remains over the Land.

Some say that the Governor is acting crazy. Some say that the Speaker is acting crazy. Some say that the other leaders are acting crazy.

But all of the people in the Land of Lincoln do agree on one thing. Their leaders are always, always, always putting them first.”

THE END.

To echo Rich–please say there is video of this.

And Dan, more like this please. You are a great official, but need up the personality quotient a bit in public.

One thought on “The Illinois Legislative Session of 2007: A Fable.”
  1. Sorry this is somewhat off-topic however I didn’t see a thread about the Iraq War so I am posting it here. Feel free to repost it elsewhere and you can even put your name on it, I don’t care, I just want to get the war ended. OK here goes:

    I am sick to death of hearing the fake opposition Dems in Congress moan about not having enough votes to end the war in Iraq. They give lip service to the myth that the only way to end the war is to write a bill saying “the war is now over” and send it to Bush for a prompt veto, then override the veto. They then throw up their hands, saying “Well, as you can see, we don’t have the votes to override any veto, so there’s no way to end the war. Sorry folks.”

    This is disingenious and vividly illustrates who the Dems are really serving: the establishment, not their constituents.

    Here’s how to end the war: No bill specifically ending the war is even necessary. Remember those supplemental funding bills the Cheney regime has to constantly ask for, to continue funding the Iraq war piecemeal instead of in yearly lump sums attached to the actual defense budget? That’s the achilles’ heel of their war effort. The next time Bush asks for another $80 billion or whatever to keep the Iraq bloodbath going, all the Democrats have to do to end the war is to say: NO. To say “We won’t allocate one more penny for your illegal war”. Last I checked the Dems have a wafer-thin majority in both houses. With no Dems voting for the next spending bill it won’t be passed and thus it won’t make it to Bush’s desk for signing. Bush (and especially his puppetmaster Cheney) may have concentrated an inordinate amount of power in the hands of the executive branch, but even they can’t send spending bills to their own desk. That necessarily has to come from Congress. If it never reaches his desk he can’t sign it, and will have 2 choices: 1.pull the troops out while there is still enough money left in the pipeline so to speak to allow an orderly withdrawl (and anyone who has five or more brain cells knows that the money isn’t going to run out the next day, that’s a non-issue that the right wing tries to use as a scare tactic but it is ridiculously dumbed down and simply not true; they don’t wait until they have $5 left before asking for another supplemental OK?); or 2.don’t pull them out right away, and leave them to wither on the vine in Iraq until the money DOES completely run out and they have to withdraw from Iraq chaotically, burning their supplies and vehicles. Either way the war will end pretty soon if the Dems refuse to vote on supplementals. They don’t have to write a bill saying they are cutting off funding; this is only a fig leaf so they can pretend to be doing something to end the war when all they are doing is purposely spinning their wheels. All they have to do is to NOT VOTE ON SUPPLEMENTALS. Pretty effing simple. The people NOW need to DEMAND in so many words that if the Democrats are a genuine opposition party that they will carry out the will of the people and NOT VOTE on supplementals. If they are a fake opposition party as I feel they are, and are acting not in the people’s interest but playing for the same team as the Republicans, then continue with more of the same hand-wringing and impotent nonbinding resolutions that resolve nothing. Decision time Democrats. Which are you? Genuine? Or fake opposition? I think I already know the answer to that one but why don’t you surprise me?

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