The Winner of the Simon Eulogy Sweepstakes

While I don’t want to treat the death of a great man as a joke, it is true that some of the eulogies in op-eds are boiler plates and some really capture the essence of the person being eulogized. I thought that many were quite good this time with Kass being one of the best. Even a bit better is Rich Miller’s weekly column which has a unique take on Simon. Given taste varies widely, I’ll defend the choice by saying I had a Grandmother much like Rich’s father and so I relate to his point better. My Grandmother never voted for Simon, but she did respect him more than most other ‘socialists’. And yes, she is rolling over in her grave at one of her grandkids–actually several. I’m the only one that votes in every election so while she may not approve of my choices, they will be tormented forever in the afterlife for every election they missed.

For the 1990 election I remember a friend, in our obsessive youth, all of a sudden noticing that Paul Simon wanted to spend more money on social programs than we generally trusted the government to do (a relative notion compared to more conservative readers). To me this was an odd objection simply because, well duh, Paul Simon was very liberal. I pointed out his support for balanced budgets and I believe the friend voted for him. But the discussion was strange because I had never realized how much I had bought into Paul Simon’s legend. This disturbed me that I had bought into a public persona. Later, in a fit of realizing what I should have long ago, it dawned on me that it wasn’t just a public persona, but a truly decent human being.

Paul Simon, dad explained back then to his completely astonished sons, was honest. Unlike most politicians, dad said, you could trust Simon’s word. Barely out of high school, Simon bought a newspaper and used it to rail against the mob and its political allies in the Metro East. He had real guts, dad said. Simon eventually owned a string of newspapers throughout southern Illinois, demonstrating a considerable business savvy, which my father admired.

I’ve always found it astonishing that a staunch conservative and Dillard Republican like my father would have so much respect, even reverence, for one of the most liberal Democratic Senators this state has ever produced. But dad’s opinion helped me to understand that Simon’s voting record wasn’t why voters gave him two terms in the Senate and would have gladly given him as many as he wanted.

It was the fact that voters believed they were electing an honest, decent, intelligent, thoughtful man to represent them to their nation’s highest legislative body. It wasn’t about sound bites, or good hair, or the latest wedge issue. It was, instead, about the pride in knowing that they were sending one of their state’s very best citizens to Washington, DC. They trusted him to do the right thing, even if they didn’t always, or usually, agree with him.

My grandmother did vote for one Democrat I think, but that was before I was born. It turns out that the Republican Sheriff arrested my father for some sort of weapons violation when my father shot a peeping tom who turned out to be said sheriff’s cousin. Today, the entire process would have been different, but in rural McLean County in the 1960s, my Dad was within his rights and that signalled the final straw for that Sheriff’s political career. Or maybe that was the primary where he was thrown out–if that is the case, she never spent more time in the booth than to punch the Republican straight ticket.

Miller’s father is voting for Dean now, perhaps showing a similar trajectory that Goldwater followed. As he aged Goldwater moderated his views on several issues. The most hysterical was his gruff take on gays in the military–it doesn’t matter if a soldier is straight, it matters if they can shoot straight. The most important being his realization what Glen Canyon damn did to the nature of his beloved Arizona. The most practical being taking on pricing in the cable/satellite business that opened up competition in such services.

My grandmother, on the other hand, is just shaking her head at me for my likely vote for Dean. Of course, at least I’m voting.

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