First submission for the satirical endorsements. By That Colored Fella
In one of President George W. Bush?s inspiring new TV ads, he speaks plainly of the enduring entrepreneurial spirit of America. The results of which have sparked and fueled an economic recovery (confirmed by the infallible Vice-President Dick Cheney) that has created Illinois jobs for those who want and are eligible, to work.
Jim Oberweis embodies that entrepreneurial spirit!
His continued success as a small business owner, rewarding life as a family man and concern for his community and nation, is what drives him to seek higher office. A principled Republican, he believes deeply in the core tenants of his party: limited government, responsible fiscal policy and opportunity for all! Jim Oberweis has seen first-hand how Hillary Clinton and the Liberal elite have weakened our country, overtaxed the business sector and opened our borders, to advance their immoral vision.
Oberweis seeks to represent families forced to explain to our children why activist judges are forcing homosexual sodomy on our community. Conservative leader Gary Bauer recently revealed how gay sex is three times as deadly as cigarette smoking. Now they want to defile the sanctity of marriage, hoping the government will recognize such abomination before God? We are not allowed to display the Ten Commandments, but a radical Hollywood deviant can get a marriage license?
Jim Oberweis supports the President?s effort to implement fiscal responsibility, after 8 years of high taxes and bloated entitlements for welfare cheats and illegal aliens. The President?s two tax cuts, (which the candidate believes should be made permanent), have enabled businessman Oberweis the opportunity to provide quality, minimum wage, entry level positions in his store locations. After 6 months of employment, those infused with the ideal Oberweis image (and a clear command of the English language), are eligible for the Management Trainee program. (At this point, employees are eligible for limited overtime, yet due to unchecked, greedy trial lawyers, offering health benefits are not cost effective.)
In candidate Oberweis? stump speech, he never fails to mention how these jobs were highly coveted and sought after, when he was a teenager growing up in Kane County. Today, he finds many young adults in expensive clothing, nice cars and cell phones, hanging out, unsupervised and unchallenged. How can we as parents instill responsibility in our kids, when such opportunities are limited? Finally, he leaves his audience with a thought. Next time you patronize an establishment and the clerk barely speaks English, imagine the odds he is here illegally and the hard working American who is denied what is rightfully his.