May 2011

Daily Dolt: Tribune With Dan Rutherford Close Behind

I generally think Dan Rutherford is a decent guy and so this his effort to stop the state from consolidating bills was a bit of a surprise.  The Tribune’s editoral page, yesterday, kept up it’s absolute inability to comprehend state finances with this slop:

You used to be able to lead a long life without ever knowing the name of an Illinois state treasurer. Now, though, you owe considerable gratitude to the current treasurer, a Republican first-termer named Dan Rutherford. This week, he blew a very loud whistle. In so doing, he made it harder for Illinois lawmakers and Gov. Pat Quinn to sink you even deeper in debt.

Rutherford first calculated that the pols who run Illinois have amassed nearly $200 billion in debt. That includes some $45 billion in bond debt, $8 billion in unpaid bills and $140 billion in unfunded pension and health care benefits for public employees. Every household in Illinois owes $42,000. Don’t get us started on your share of the debts run up by your profligate local and federal governments.

 

What the Trib and apparently Rutherford don’t get is that the state already owes the money it is considering borrowing to pay bills already incurred. Instead of borrowing from people willing and capable of loaning the state money, we are borrowing from state vendors, doctors and other health care providers who treat state employees and all sorts of other people and organizations the state pays money to.  The state can consolidate that debt into a reasonable package without incurring any further costs that it won’t have to pay anyway according to state law.

 

I know this because my mother is currently dealing with patient, but incredibly persistent medical providers who keep billing her until the state gets around to paying out.  She’s fine and everyone seems to be willing to wait, but it is stress.  We owe it to the people and organizations that do business with the state to pay on time. That means a big consolidation loan that can be effectively payed down.  The Tribune’s refusal to understand this only shows how shallow and stupid it’s editorials have become.

Strategy: Bore Everyone To Death

Progress Illinois

 

Update 1 (10:49 a.m.): Blagojevich dives into a lengthy diatribe of his life story. From his first job as a shoe shine boy at 9 years old (“it teaches you how to be more responsible with your work”) — to his NBA aspirations (“reality check” when he was cut from Lane Tech’s basketball tryouts), the verbose former governor spent 25 minutes just to get to his “life story” as of 1974.

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It is possible he thinks he can filibuster his trial through the rest of his life.

Stories That Need Updating

Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell

 

Underworld officials said they have not yet decided on a permanent punishment for the terrorists.

“Eventually, we’ll settle on an eternal and unending task for them,” said Lord Androalphus, High Praetor of Excruciations. “But for now, everyone down here wants a crack at them. The legions of fang-wombed hags will take their pleasure on their shattered carcasses for most of this afternoon. Tomorrow, their flesh will be melted from their bones like wax in the burning embrace of the Mother of Cowards. The day after that, they’ll be sodomized by the Fallen and their bowels shredded by a demonic ejaculate of burning sand. Then, on Sunday, Satan gets them all day. I can’t even imagine what he’s got cooked up for them.”

 

Though I always wondered what the point of 72 virgins was anyway.