Calling Alan Keyes:
So I think we all had one thing in mind when we heard the Good Ambassador was upset over spanking. It’s harder to be more of a selfish hedonist than when Spanking the Monkey. But no, he was referring to a comment by Barack,
“I don’t want to just win, I want to give this guy who is running against me a spanking,” Keyes quoted Obama as saying.
The conservative from Maryland said Obama then said that he wanted to give Keyes a spanking because he exemplified the “kind of scorched-earth, slash-and-burn negative campaign that has become the custom in Washington and it is the reason why we can’t get anything done.”
Now, most folks would take this as a basketball reference. But, not the Good Ambassador–it’s a slavery reference:
Keyes, whose rhetoric concerning gay marriage and abortion has stunned Illinois Republican Party leaders, said Obama’s use of the word spanking was “colorful language” and is “the language of the master who, when he is displeased with the slave, gives him a whipping.”
If he had made such comments, Keyes speculated that the media would accuse him of “some horrible crime against the dignity of my opponent.”
“I am sure if I had used this language about my opponent, one of you would have followed up with that kind of question, suggesting that I was showing the utmost insensitivity to the racial heritage of America and to the indignities that black Americans have suffered during the course of that heritage,” Keyes said.
No, but you might have been fitted with a straightjacket. Then again, you might still be. Though you might have asked what great moral principle in the Declaration spanking is related to or perhaps a cheeky joke about Spanking the Monkey.
Much like the Keyes campaign, it’s pretty clear John McCain doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing so trying to say he was being racist with whipping is a bit hard to buy. 3
Okay, so I wanted an excuse to reference Alan.