ArchPundit

VS.

Inspired by the Cross guys

Lifetime Batting Average:
Sosa .277
Keyes .000

Musical Taste
Sosa: Salsa on a loud boombox
Keyes: Rage Against the Machine in a mobile mosh pit

Clubhouse Behavior:
Sosa: Leaves the grounds before the last game
Keyes: everyone wishes he’d leave before the game–OR AFTER

Fieldling:
Sosa: Managers say a prayer when the ball heads his way, Sosa blames the Sun
Keyes: Party Leaders Hide behind plants, He biffs a softball question just so he can blame the media

Presidential View:
Bush actuall misses Sosa
Obama wishes they could all be that easy

How History will treat them in Chicago:
Sosa: He’s no Mark Grace
Keyes: He’s still here?

Just leave.

Deluded to the end, Alan thinks that someone wants him to stay. Thanks Syverson and Rauschenberger. We’ll be remembering whose fault this is when he tries to run again or, if the mouth from Maryland runs for Governor against Rauschenberger. That would be irony wouldn’t it?

With 5 precincts out, Obama is just below 70 slightly lower than I expected, but he has the largest win since since direct election of Senators in Illinois. He also beat Keyes by 43 points which is the largest margin of victory. Apparently enough Republicans bothered to protest against Obama instead of voting for 3rd Party Candidates who did miserably given the opportunity here.

With the two party vote, Obama got 71.98% coming just under 72.11% by McKinley in 1920, though it’s important to note, there were third parties that got some percentage of the vote that year.

More votes were cast for a US Senate Race than ever have been before as well with a total of 5043979 beating the 4939558 of 1992. Barack’s winning percentage is greater than Everett Dirksen ever achieved (he didn’t blow people out), or Paul Simon and Alan Dixon. With the Kerry results, it’s hard to believe that Obama wouldn’t have won handily against other conservative candidates, though certainly hardly any of them would have tanked this badly.

We’re Not Meeting Anytime Soon!

Republicans: Do us all a favor and put that ass on a jet out of here.

ABC just said that Keyes is not going to speak until after Obama
speaks.
What an ass! He doesnt even know how to lose properly.

(much of this is from the inbox if you can’t tell….)

Check out his message on election eve

He’s making an argument that the vote cannot be counted on for accuracy.

Delusional.

Buy the plane ticket to Maryland Keyes. Go away.

Keyes newest eruption:

Keyes, who earlier told GOP leaders of his intention to make provocative campaign statements to get attention, ratcheted up the rhetoric further as he declared that there was no difference between Catholics who support Obama and Germans who voted for the Nazi Party.

He’s in the wrong state, the HarshBishop in Saint Louis however would be a good match

“Any Roman Catholics who vote for Barack Obama are committing, in the opinion of the pope and the Holy See [Vatican City], a mortal sin,” Keyes told reporters after a Crusaders Ministries service on the South Side. “He stands for the destruction of innocent life. He stands against the respect for the male-female family. On embryonic stem-cell research, on all the key issues of conscience, he stands for the position that has been identified by the Catholic Church as objectively evil.

“Catholics who vote for him make themselves part of that evil, just as the folks in Germany who voted for the party that eventually led to the Holocaust.”

The Next Senator from the Great State of Illinois

Like hell you are staying in my state. (go to the video for the full effect)While I may currently live in Missouri, Illinois will always be my home and you have defiled it you freak. The entire comparison to Abraham Lincoln has pissed me off more than you could possibly understand. You are an ignorant ass who would have been put in his place by Abe in a sly, dry witted manner.

You ranted about Illinois without knowing a damn thing about. Your rant on automatic weapons was laughable. Your divisive bullshit about a culture war has no place in my moderate state. You turned a race into a three ring circus with your ego occupying all three rings.

You have bizarrely attacked one of the most decent and charismatic candidates in Illinois during my lifetime eclipsing even the cool charisma Thompson had, but few now remember.

You are now lying that abortion will cause a decline in the black population which is nothing short of a lie. Why? Because you think the ends justify the ends. You were funny for a while, but now you are just a giant horse’s ass.

Finally, you have claimed you were attacked with pipe bombs which was bullshit. You fucking lied about it and tried to use it to get money. You and your campaign staff are sick bastards who need to take your asses to some state where your kind of bullshit flies. You and your staff are so bizarrely out of touch you thought that receiving shit bombs would bring you more support.

In short–what the fuck is your major malfunction asshole? And why do you think anyone in Illinois wants to put up with you beyond Tuesday?

Daily Herald:

Keyes said bin Laden’s message is a “clear indication that we can’t afford to elect John Kerry or put Barack Obama” in the Senate.

Yeah, they might catch him. Bastards.

About those polls…

Keyes also said he doesn’t believe polls that show Obama far ahead in Tuesday’s election for the seat now held by U.S. Sen. Peter Fitzgerald.

“As far as I know, for instance, those polls are still showing a majority of pro-life people voting for Barack Obama,” Keyes told reporters at Sangamon County Republican headquarters. “Every time somebody suggests that, I just laugh. … Who would believe such nonsense?”

What Keyes doesn’t get is that every pro-life voter doesn’t view pro-life as the only issue they vote upon. Just as every pro-choice voter doesn’t only use pro-choice issues as their only standard for a candidate.

One big consideration is whether the other guy is a huge loon.

After a small detour of checking in Springfield the Keyes mail bomb scare led me to the Police Department of Stafford, Texas–a Houston Suburb where Keyes contribution processing is done. Detective Veratto was very helpful and filled in the details.

This was the first call to the police department, so the human waste story may have occured, but if it did, it was not reported to the police. The Stafford PD says the company reports that they receive lots of strange things there, but that this was the first package that necessitated a police call in 15 years. The company declined to comment. I have a call into the Keyes campaign.

The package that aroused suspicion was a heavy letter with a lot of mass at the bottom of a business return envelope. Alert to potential dangers, the local police were called. The police examined the item and called the local fire department. The local fire department responded and suggested calling the Houston Bomb Squad which then x-rayed the package to ensure it was safe. The FBI was also notified. It turned out to be a railroad spike.

All of this is a reasonable reaction given concerns over such packages, but what is interesting and certainly contrary to the impression of the e-mail sent by the Keyes campaign, is that letter contained no threats–in fact the envelope only contained the spike. No crime was committed in this case. It was an obnoxious prank, but just that–an obnoxious prank.

There is no threat and the mailing of a railroad spike is not illegal. It does however cost the Keyes campaign a fair amount of postage and it obviously is stupid for the very reason of the problems it created for a business.

There appears to be no indication of criminal intent, but my own guess is that someone was mailed a direct mail solicitation, didn’t like Alan and decided to cost him some extra cash on the return.

IOW, the Keyes campaign decided to stretch the story to try and wring some donations out of people. That’s class.

Now back to other election related trivia.

UPDATE: Fixed numerous errors in grammar.

from comments:

I was outside the event for the pre-debate rally. One of the Keyes supporters claimed “There was a special place in Hell for people like me.” (Charming!) So I asked here to clarify. “God’s retribution is swift,” she replied. So I decided to push the process along: I held up my umbrella to the skies and shouted, “Strike me dead, God! Strike me dead!!” That got laughs from BOTH sides, but alas, no lightning.

I guess God supports Obama.

Heh. According to rumors on the Leader Looper board. About as trustworthy as claims there was a fake bomb sent to the Keyes campaign.

But OneMan has the definitive take on the Keyes campaign as a whole as well as the commercials